Saving the Doctor From Himself
by Allons-yBadWolf
Summary: The Doctor lost Rose during Doomsday and now adamantly refuses to let anyone else get close to him. What will happen if he continues alone with despair as his constant companion? Will he allow despair to take control? How far will the TARDIS go to prevent such an event from happening? ***Possible TRIGGER WARNING for subtle suicide references*** A bit angsty but not dark.
1. First Meetings and a Close Call

DISCLAIMER: _Doctor Who_ and all its characters belong to BBC. OC's are my own creations and the events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to any people or events living or dead is merely coincidental. ^_^

 **AN** : Hello readers, and welcome to _Saving the Doctor From Himself..._ This is not my first Fanfic but it _is_ the first I've submitted to a public forum...so I ask that you at least read up through the third chapter before abandoning the story, LOL. This story is set in a slight AU where The Doctor lost Rose during _Doomsday_ and has stuck firmly to his resolve not to let anyone else close to him. I see this story as being post Doomsday but breaking from cannon before reaching _The Runaway Bride_. He has not met Donna or Martha at this point in time and has been wandering alone for quite a while when my story begins. I welcome any feedback, but please no flaming! Now, I hope you will sit back, relax and enjoy the story! Allons-y!

* * *

Chapter 1: First Meetings and a Close Call

 _London- Becca's POV_

The first time I saw The Doctor I had no idea who he was. He was just another man, standing with his back against the wall of a nearby building. He was tall, around 6'1", quite slim and I have to admit rather sexy. He was wearing a close fitting blue suit with a red tie, covered by a long brown jacket. As I watched he tucked his hands into his trouser pockets and seemed to be watching, just… watching. He observed the traffic and the people going by him, yet seemed separated from it all somehow. I noted this about him in an absent sort of way. What really captured my attention were his eyes. They were sad and seemingly ancient eyes…ones that looked to have seen too much in their time. Somehow those eyes just didn't match the rest of his face which was smooth and seemed so much more youthful.

As I continued to watch him, he happened to glance my way and his brown eyes met my hazel ones. I smiled, but he looked away quickly. For the briefest of moments when our eyes met I'd gotten the impression of great sadness and regret- dare I say deep loneliness? A group of women, chatting loudly passed in front of me, and after they'd gone past I looked for the man again- but he was gone! It was strange really; he had seemingly disappeared into thin air. Hard to figure really, good-looking guy like that surely wouldn't have trouble finding a companion if he wanted one, which led me to think any loneliness was self-imposed- but why?

Ah well…what did it matter really? He was probably just an ordinary man, out and about London, probably picking up something for his missus. Yet I couldn't shake the impression from my mind. My friends would have told me I was letting my imagination run wild, and…maybe they'd be right.

* * *

The Doctor was striding quickly towards a blue police box sitting several blocks away, but to him it was more than a police box, it was his _TARDIS._ As soon as he stepped inside and closed the doors, he took a deep breath and sagged against them, running a hand through his messy brown hair, making it stand out in odd directions.

 _Why do you torment yourself like this?_ He thought berating himself silently. _You know what happens to all the people you let get close to you._

It had started as just going out for a walk; get some fresh air, you know- clear out the old noggin. He'd stopped for a bit, just watching all the humanity around him, going about their daily, boring lives. He had been scanning the crowd when not far away a brunette girl had caught and met his eyes and then she'd smiled. It was a brief meeting of eyes, but he'd felt a strange and instant connection being made. He had broken the contact quickly by looking away. Fortunately a group of women had passed between them blocking her view of him, and using that moment he had quickly made his escape _._

 _Now here I stand, practically quaking in my trainers. The desire to walk over to her, to talk to her, had been so strong, but NO, I know full well where that road eventually leads. I can't do it again! I can't allow myself to get close and then lose another person to the dangers of my life. I can't!_ He thought in anguish. _Yet between the memories and regrets…I'm not sure how much longer I can stand this terrible loneliness._ Placing his head in his hands he felt despair creeping up to claim him.

A gentle caress of affection and concern swept across his mind, light as a feather but most definitely felt. The Doctor smiled briefly. "Thanks old girl," he said aloud to the _TARDIS_. He strode up the ramp and to the console in the middle of the room. Patting her gently he added "I know you're always with me." For the moment the despair was pushed away.

* * *

 _Becca's POV_

Several days later I found myself at a chippy, picking half-heartedly at my order of fish and chips. The shop I was eating at was not far from where I had first seen the man in the blue suit. I still had no idea who he was and despite my best efforts to forget him, I couldn't. His eyes or at least their impression stayed with me. I could call them up clearly in my mind's eye, as if I had a photograph. I pondered those eyes while I was waiting for my friend Scenttia. Glancing at my watch for the fifth time in less than a half hour, I muttered vaguely to myself. Apparently Scenttia was pulling another no show. What with that new boyfriend of hers she probably forgot all about our girls' night. Pulling out my cell I checked one last time for messages- nope, not even the courtesy of a single one. Getting out my wallet I left a tip on the table, and exited the shop heaving a sigh of frustration.

Outside a blast of wind caused a deep shiver to run down my spine. Flipping the collar of my jacket up, I started walking. I didn't think much about the direction I was taking, instead I was deciding where to stop for a book or DVD to take home. I could have gone out alone, but then again, I've never liked to party by myself. Coming to an intersection I stopped and waited for the walk signal, and when it changed I started across the road still deep in my own thoughts.

The sound of a horn blasting and movement to my left caused me to jump out of my skin. I turned to see a red double-decker barreling straight towards me and it wasn't slowing down! Panicking I tried to get out of the way, but part of me knew I wasn't going to make it. As quickly as this realization formed, from the opposite direction, a flash of blue and someone knocking me to the ground.

"Get down and lay flat as you can!" A smooth male voice said from beside me, and suiting actions to words he flattened himself to the pavement.

Obediently I lay flat as I could as the double-decker passed over top of us. Rolling my eyes as far upwards as I could from this position I saw the bottom of the bus clearing me with maybe an inch or two to spare! The wind from its passing ruffled my hair, exhaust fumes hit my nose and then it was past. For a moment I forgot how to breathe and felt my heart racing as adrenaline coursed through my veins. I had nearly been killed!

Beside me the man's voice spoke again, "Right then, coast's clear. Are you ok...? Hurt anywhere?" He sounded anxious and spoke about a mile a minute. After a quick internal scan, I rolled to my side, about to reassure him I was fine.

The words faded from my lips as I realized…it was him! The man I'd seen before! His warm brown eyes filled with competing emotions, foremost in them concern. Trying again I was able to get out… "Fine, I think…thanks to you".

Rising to his feet he held out his hand to help me stand. As I took hold of the proffered hand he easily pulled me to my feet. Traffic, thankfully, hadn't been heavy and several vehicles had stopped. A bit shaky, I walked to the other side of the street, shadowed by my rescuer. As soon as we reached the sidewalk concerned witnesses all started talking at the same time…

"Blimey….are you ok miss?"

"….crazy bus driver, if I was you I'd sue is what I'd do…"

"…you need an ambulance? Got my cell right here…."

"…right close call that was…"

So many emotions and voices! Confused, I swayed slightly and took a step backwards.

"Here now…everyone quiet down and shove off. I've everything under control here and if she needs it I'll see she's taken care of."

The man in blue was suddenly beside me holding up a small black leather item, and as the crowd looked at it they fell to muttering amongst themselves and began dispersing. I guess he had shown a badge or something. However he had done it, I was grateful for the breathing room. Closing my eyes briefly I took a deep breath and willed my heart to stop beating so fast. When I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder I jumped slightly. Turning, I tried to cover up the involuntary jerk, but was pretty sure I hadn't managed to do so.

Standing there was my rescuer- his eyes were searching mine. He was probably looking to see if I had a concussion or if I was in shock or something…

* * *

 _Why am I doing this?_ The Doctor had just come back to Earth after a bit of a run-in on Raxicoricofallapatorius (which was/is the planet of the Slythene family who, by the way, had nearly caused World War Three…interesting planet, the purple atmosphere seen from space is stunning really… located at the edge of Mutter's Spiral, it used to be part of a solar system that included its twin planet Clom…which mysteriously disappeared ages ago, Clom that is, not Raxicoricofallapatorius). He'd been out walking, thinking about his last adventure and about maybe getting some chips (London really does have brilliant chips!) and had seen a familiar looking brunette begin crossing the road- had also seen the bus barreling towards her on a collision course. He'd reacted immediately and instinctively…nobody deserves to be hit by a double-decker bus! Much too mundane a way to die!

"Get down…lay flat as you can!" The Doctor said quickly as he pushed the brunette firmly to the pavement mere moments before the bus would have hit her.

After the bus had cleared them, he rose to a crouched position and began asking the girl anxiously if she was ok. She seemed a bit shaky, so as he stood he offered his hand to help her up ( _let no one say I'm not a gentleman!_ ). When they got to the sidewalk on the other side of the street, she was surrounded by concerned onlookers clamoring to make sure she was ok, offering assistance, and in some cases offering ridiculous ( _to my way of thinking_ ) advice. He was about to use the distraction to blend into the crowd and melt away when he noticed her sway and take a step backward away from all those "helpful" people.

Muttering a Gallifrayan curse under his breath he quickly pretended to be an authority figure and pulling out his psychic paper was able to quickly clear the crowd. Touching the girl gently on the shoulder he felt the involuntary jump as she turned toward him. Searching her eyes he could tell she was still a bit shook up but surprisingly handling it well. "Better?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah, thanks- that crowd overwhelmed me I guess."

"Understandable," He said ruffling a hand through his thick brown hair, "well…if you're sure you're ok, I'll be off then." He added starting to turn and leave.

"Wait!" she said making him turn back, "How can I ever thank you…that bus nearly flattened me."

He felt a lopsided grin appear briefly on his face, "You just did"

Blinking at him in surprise, she blurted out "No, seriously- at least let me buy you a cuppa or something."

It took him a nano-second to comprehend that what she was saying. _A cuppa! She wants to buy_ me _a cup of tea?_ With her watching, he was aware of a series of conflicting emotions going through him, but finally settled into a dark, regretful sadness.

"Nah, as long as you're ok that's thanks enough for me." He finally replied, forcing a bright smile and starting to turn again and walk away. Before he could take more than a step however, she grabbed his arm. Startled he looked at the hand on his arm and then at her face, noting a subtle but undeniable strength there.

"Please, I insist it's the least I can do and besides…" she said obviously thinking quickly "…I could really use some tea myself- I'm still a mite shaky-like".

Concerned, but determined to be on his way, he pivoted around completely to face her again. Gently placing a hand over hers, he was about to decline again, but the contact made him aware of how cold she felt. Whether she realized it or not the girl was not as ok as she pretended to be. His consciousness pricked at him. Despite all his best efforts to be away as soon as possible, he knew now that he couldn't just leave her. What if she went into delayed shock, passed out or something? Bowing to the inevitable, he sighed quietly to himself and gave in. "Ok then, two teas it is," he agreed smiling a bit sadly at the big smile that rewarded those words.

As they walked along towards her chosen locale, he subtly observed her. She was fairly tall only a couple inches shorter than he was, with long athletic legs; wearing a nice pair of jeans and a forest green jacket. Her brunette hair framed a lightly-complected face with hazel-brown eyes. Again he noted that there was something different about her…something most people didn't see, but then he was the Doctor; he was always seeing things others don't.

 _One cup of tea,_ he promised himself, _One cup and I'm off. I'm not going to involve myself any further._ This of course brought unbidden memories of previous companions, all the people he'd lost over the years. _No,_ He thought firmly, _one cup and I'm gone._

As she walked beside him towards her favorite tea place she must have suddenly realized that she didn't even know his name.

"I'm Becca by the way, what's your name?"

"Hello…I'm the Doctor"

"Just the Doctor?"

"Yep, just The Doctor…Nice to meet you, Becca." He was always polite, even when he knew he was treading on dangerous ground. Thankfully he was saved from further questions by their arrival at her destination. They got two cups of tea and found a table to sit at.

Becca had immediately picked up her cup of Irish breakfast and had not set it down. He was pleased to see that she was calming down a bit, helped along by the heat of the cup she held and the tea's pleasant aroma. He could smell it from across the table, along with that of his own English breakfast tea. Once again, this proved his theory that a good cup of tea could fix anything. He was relieved she wasn't chattering away at him like some magpie. The silence was a bit awkward but better than listening to hysterics mind you. Then she opened her mouth to speak. _Oi, here it comes…_

"Thank you Doctor, I really would have felt horrible just letting you walk away without doing a little something to repay you. I mean, you saved my life back there and I'm grateful."

For a moment the Doctor was speechless (which had only happened on a handful of occasions in his many lives!). This was not at all what he had expected to hear. Gushing gratitude…questions about what his name really was or just a meltdown- those situations he had been prepared for! This simple and genuine gratitude, accepting and using his name- well this just squashed any response he would have given!

"Ahem…well…um…you're welcome," was all he managed to get out at first, rubbing the back of his head self-consciously. "What can I say? We're lucky those double-deckers have a bit of clearance underneath, eh? Otherwise we would have been left a bit thinner, yes indeed a bit thinner…not that either of us needs to be…any….thinner," he trailed off as he noted the change in her expression. Clapping his hands together and grinning broadly he quickly changed topics…"So Irish breakfast eh? Always been an English breakfast man myself. Met the fella who came up with it back in oh…the 1840s I think it was. Loved tea he did….fascinated him even! Amazing man, always trying to make new and better blends…of course if I wouldn't have 'accidently' left that special ingredient…"

Becca was speechless- met a man in the 1840s? What was the Doctor talking about?

"You met someone in the 1840s? Huh…that must have been quite a…um…experience…" she said slowly grinning, obviously intrigued by his quirkiness.

Realizing what he was going on about the Doctor tried to come up with a more reasonable explanation…"Bit of a history nut you might call me, get so immersed I guess I think I'm there…" he quickly replied with an embarrassed chuckle. He had to get out of here…otherwise he'd really talk himself into trouble!

For a minute they both sat there awkwardly, and resorting to his mask of cool indifference the Doctor began looking over the girl's shoulder toward the door. "Well," he said continuing not to look at Becca, "Things to do." Gathering himself, he stood quickly.

Becca, surprised by this sudden departure stood as well. "Well Doctor," she said holding out her hand to him…"guess this is goodbye then."

She'd done it again- completely gob smacked him! So much so that he shook her hand without thinking. As he did a sudden shock of energy coursed up his arm and he gasped involuntarily, dropping her hand. Becca looked at him with concern.

"Sorry did I shock you or something?"

"No, I'm fine…well…Goodbye."

Becca watched a bit bemused as the Doctor strode quickly out of the shop. Shaking her head slightly she sat back down and took a long sip of her tea. _What was that all about?_ She wondered. Then she thought not about what he'd said, exactly, but the tone of his voice. He'd obviously been surprised by her, why she couldn't fathom. The way his eyes had turned cold and distant before he left… he seemed to be hiding something with his quick topic changes, like someone desperately trying to avoid hitting a tender wound. Something of a puzzle he was turning out to be- and she liked puzzles. Yet, there was also vulnerability about him- buried deep. She wondered if she would ever see him again and, despite his rude departure, she certainly hoped so!

A feeling of inquiry and curiosity brushed across his mind, not in words but he understood the meaning just the same. The _TARDIS,_ with its empathetic and telepathic abilities, frequently communicated with him in this way and through the years he had learned to understand her nuances quite well.

- _You know why._

 _An impression of running and a feeling of wrongness_

 _-Who says? I've been running for a long time now._

 _Disappointment and a sense that he should have stayed._

Upon reaching the _TARDIS_ and going inside, he finally lost it…

"You know, sometimes you think you understand so much, yet you know nothing!" He shouted. "Do you think it's easy for me? Has it ever been easy for me? NO! I live everyday with the memories: good and bad, heaven and hell! I constantly feel the emptiness in my head, and where there were once thousands of voices, there is only deafening silence! Memories of family, companions, even foes- tearing me apart slowly from the inside!"

The Doctor strode from the console room, his face dark with anger and grief. For hours he walked the endless corridors until anger gave way to anguish and then he sat, arms wrapping around his long legs like it was the only thing holding him together as he curled into a ball of misery and old regrets.


	2. The TARDIS Has A Plan

**AN** : I've always loved the idea that the TARDIS can do more than the Doctor realizes, sometimes even the impossible. So I've incorporated her as a character in and of herself- with feelings, thoughts (of a sort), and personality. She doesn't "speak" per say...but when she chooses to communicate it's mentally (of course) and in abstracts- emotions, images, etc. It's frequently stated she has telepathic and empathic abilities...so I'm pulling on these ideas and putting my own tweak on them. Thanks for continuing to read my story! Hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 2: The _TARDIS_ has a plan

 _TARDIS' POV_

For quite some time she had been aware of his deteriorating mental state; her Thief, her Time Lord. She did what she could for him, but as remarkable as she was, even she had limitations. She had learned a lot from him and from her Thief's pets over the years. Though at first she didn't understand why he kept bringing home these "strays" as she playfully thought of them. Then she began observing and eventually interacting with them, and she gained greater understanding behind his reasoning- perhaps even more than the Doctor himself understood. These "companions" as he affectionately calls them give him a great many things: someone to teach and share all of time and space with; someone to marvel at his brilliant mind and abilities; and of course someone to provide friendship and a sense of family.

More than this though, they help him to see that life is worth living, and to appreciate the marvels of the universe. Many creatures know the Doctor as The Lonely god, The Oncoming Storm, the man with no home, no people. In most cases his companions also rein him in when he becomes too harsh, too dark, too willing to do whatever it takes; a result of war and desperate times. The Great Time War stole everything from him- his family, his people; even his home planet- and that had left many deep scars on his soul.

The Doctor was refusing to take on another companion after he had been unable to save the last one, though it was obviously tearing him apart inside to be alone. At first the _TARDIS'_ presence had been enough, but more and more lately it was becoming obvious to her that he needed more. Someone who could reach past this wall he built around himself, to help heal his broken hearts (yes plural- he has two after all!), and perhaps even help him come to terms with some of his past.

For a while now, without the Doctor knowing, she had been searching, trying to find just the spark she felt he needed to overcome his current state. Finally, she had located one that might work, and traced it…to EARTH of all places!

It had been weeks since the Doctor had rescued the brunette girl, Becca. He had blown up at her when she had tried to figure out why he had practically ran away from the tea shop to get away from the girl. She had not communicated with him directly since and really he had not tried to communicate with her beyond basic needs. At first it didn't concern her; they had given each other the proverbial "cold shoulder" before. After all you can't travel with someone this long and not have a few spats along the way! This time was different though, this time he had began retreating deep within his own mind for hours at a time. When he did so, she was almost completely unable to reach his consciousness. This level of despondency was disturbing in her Thief. Something had to be done- soon! So the _TARDIS_ began putting her plan in motion…

* * *

Two (Earth) Months later…

The Doctor lay in his bed, muscles tensed and twitching like he was fighting a great battle, and in his dreams he was…

 _The last day of the Great Time War, the Dalek fleet had surrounded Gallifrey and launched the biggest attack yet on the planet. Millions of Dalek ships had subjected Gallifrey to a massive orbital bombardment and deployed thousands of individual Daleks to invade the surface. Dalek ships hung in the air, firing shots at buildings, taking out anything they could._

 _Though the smoke was thick and blinding, the Doctor could feel the heat of the fires searing everything around him. He heard the hellish cacophony of the War all around him…screams, bombs exploding, the implosions of buildings collapsing, Daleks calling out "EX-TERM-IN-ATE!"… Gallifrey was burning, his planet was burning! All around him laser and photon fire glittered across an inky black sky. As he scanned the backdrop of flames and flickering shadows, he saw the outlines of spacecraft wheeling and diving above him, most of them in near ruins by this point. Discharges of energy weapons backlit the terrible scene of casualties lying dead or dying among the ruins of buildings and crashed spaceships alike, and as he watched in horror, Dalek scouts could be seen gliding unnaturally over the tortured mess and shooting anything that moved._

 _Not far from him was a small child, crying and calling out for help. Running….he was running as fast as he could to save the child…but he was too late! He was always too late! He watched helplessly as the child was consumed by an energy blast from a passing scout…_

The Doctor woke thrashing and screaming "No….NO…NOOO!" The dream had left him nauseous and shaking, covered in sweat with his two hearts beating at an alarming rate. "It's my fault…it's all my fault" he sobbed…"my home…my planet…my people, all dead because of me!" Grabbing his brown suit jacket he took off towards the one place where his desperate plan to end his agony might actually succeed.

* * *

 _Becca's POV_

 _Great pain, anguish….a cry for help!_

I woke abruptly filled with nearly overwhelming feelings of concern, anguish and terrible sadness. Shaking my head I tried to clear it. Had I been dreaming? Getting up and wrapping a bathrobe around myself, I walked to the dresser and turned on the light. Looking in the mirror, my own face stared back at me, pale and wide-eyed. I didn't remember dreaming, just being woken from a sound sleep in a near panic. In fact the feeling still stuck with me. S _trange,_ I thought, _that never happens; usually when I wake the emotion disappears too_.

Strange or not, I could still feel the emotions like they were my own. Not an uncommon situation as I've often felt the emotions of others around me, but never while I was asleep! Was someone or something trying to send for help? I scoffed at the absurdity. _Who would look to me for help?_ I thought reflexively. _I'm just the overly sensitive girl with the soft heart. How many times did mom and dad scold you for being weak, overly emotional and a sucker for a sob story?_

Growing up she could never stand to see anyone or anything hurting, and often stood up to bullies of all types. She'd come home, sometimes bloody and bruised, from those fights only to have her folks rage at her. Her mom, having delusions of grandeur, was always furious at her for not "acting like a lady". Her dad, more interested in his own self-interests, would lecture her on maintaining the status quo and embarrassing the family name. There was something wrong with her, she wasn't right- and they told her so every chance they got.

As soon as she possibly could she had moved out of her parents' home and got a job to support herself. She found a small but affordable flat and for a short time found a measure of peace. Things with her parents never improved. The final break with her family came after her grandparents had passed on. Outside of London they'd had a small country cottage, not much really, just a weekend getaway of sorts. _When the wills were read and my parents discovered that they had been skipped over and the cottage and everything was left to me…well let's just say furious is an understatement and they haven't spoken to me since. Why it upsets them so much, I still have no idea._ After all the legal paperwork had been taken care of, she decided to move into the cottage. She'd been living here for a few months now and was enjoying life outside of all the hustle and bustle of the city.

Now looking at myself in the mirror, I took a deep breath and tried to sort out where the emotions were coming from.

 _An impression of the outside….concern…urgency!_ The impressions struck my mind from out of nowhere. _Help…_ the one thing I could never refuse anyone. Dressing quickly I followed my instincts as they led me outside but as I stepped out on the porch I froze in shock…there was a blue police box sitting in my front yard! What was a police box doing in my yard? As I watched, the door swung slowly open and I was compelled to go inside...

* * *

 **Disclaimer** : I did not write the imagery I used for the Doctor's dream...I found the description years ago but alas I can't find or remember who wrote it to give credit where credit is due. However, thank you to the Unknown Author...I hope you don't mind if I borrow your amazing description of what the Great Time War must have been like!


	3. Rescuing the Doctor From Himself

**AN** : Sorry if Chapter 2 was a bit choppy- it will come together soon...just hang with me! ^_^

* * *

Chapter 3: Rescuing the Doctor from Himself

 _Becca's POV_

As I stepped inside the doors of the blue police box, an enormous room enveloped me. Some part of my brain tried to tell me that this wasn't possible, but the evidence of my other senses told me it had to be true. As I moved up the metal ramp, branch like pillars rose out of the metal floor and in the center of the room was a massive console with a pillar of light rising from it and reaching clear up to the ceiling. I would have stayed to take it all in, but the niggling in the back of my mind was pressing me forward toward a door on the other side of the room. Walking quickly across the room, past the console, I went through the door and into a hallway. As I followed the hallway, I found myself turning left and right at various intersections as if something was tugging me toward some unknown location. I stopped when I found myself standing in front of a heavy looking wooden door. When I raised a hand to the door it opened easily to the touch.

Taking a deep breath and not knowing what to expect, I pushed the door open and went inside. The room was sparsely decorated and reminded me strongly of a meditation room. The door closed gently behind me and suddenly I realized this room must be sound-proofed, because it had a 'dead' feeling to it, like everything else outside did not exist. As I looked around I discovered I was not alone.

Not far from me was a man huddled in a brown, pinstripe suit that seemed familiar to me. He was sitting with his shoulders hunched, one long leg tucked under his other bent one. His arms were wrapped around his knee; his head resting against them with his face hidden. He sat there unmoving and seemingly unaware of my presence. Was this the same man who had rescued me months ago? To see him so obviously despondent, so shattered…was a shock. His entire posture screamed of pain, a loss of hope and a sense of futility and resignation. Where was the animated and quirky man who had tea with me- if ever so briefly? What had happened to him?

"Doctor, is that you?" I asked tentatively. Receiving no reply I became deeply concerned and kneeling behind him, gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Immediately, strong emotions poured into my awareness…. _Guilt, anger, sadness, pain!_ These were the same emotions that I had awoken to! Oh the pain that radiated from the Doctor! The pain that consumed him was so deep and destructive and he felt so…alone. My heart went out to him, this man…this Doctor. Instinctively I tried to reach deep into that storm of emotions; to offer solace and at first I thought it was being tentatively accepted. Then I felt a harsh rejection of my presence and the impression of a door slamming shut as I was flung back into my own consciousness!

I had heard of people with mental abilities but had never met anyone who possessed any skill, let alone someone that could throw me out of their head so easily. I sat down completely for a moment shaking my head, feeling a little dazed. If he was not the one guiding me here and asking for help….who was? It didn't make sense, as far as I can tell he was the only one here. I hadn't seen or heard anyone else in this strange…whatever it was. One thing for sure it was definitely _not_ just a police box! Then I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise and that faint niggling sensation again…

"Hello?" I said quietly, "Is there someone else here?" I glanced at the Doctor who still had not moved.

 _An impression of an affirmative and intense concern…_

I wasn't sure why but someone or something had led me here and wanted me to help the Doctor. Problem was I wasn't even sure what was wrong or how to reach him. He hadn't responded when I spoke to him and if what had just happened was any indication, he didn't want me in his mind and was completely capable of keeping me out if he chose.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked out loud.

 _A gentle push, an indication to try again…_

Taking a deep breath and centering myself, I reached out a hand and touched the Doctor's shoulder again. This time I focused only on reaching the Doctor. I again felt the emotions rushing over me, trying to consume my mind… _Anger, sadness, terrible guilt and pain!_ I let the emotions pass through me, and closing my eyes saw something in my mind's eye: _The Doctor standing in the middle of a terrible battle scene…fire and smoke….strange metallic looking creatures….screaming and chaos…death…horrible death surrounding him….running….he was running toward a child…_ I observed this for what seemed like an eternity, repeating itself over and over again. I had no idea how much time passed…a minute…an hour? When suddenly, there was a flash of awareness and I was flung out of the visions. The force of the rejection was like that of a hard gut punch. I was flung away from him, my head cracking against the floor. Dazed, I let my body go limp..

* * *

The _TARDIS_

Things were not quite going according to her plan. She had landed outside the location of where the energy spark was located. A link had been established with the spark, which turned out to be a sleeping human. She soon realized that the energy patterns were the same as the girl the Doctor had saved, and that this girl was mentally and emotionally open in way the TARDIS had never experienced in a human before. So when the girl woke, it had been surprisingly easy to get her to come outside to where the _TARDIS_ was waiting and to mentally guide her through the hallways to the room where her Thief was. He had been sitting there for quite some time, lost deep in his own mind…caught in cycles of guilt, pain and memories. She was desperately concerned at his lack of response to all her attempts to reach him.

The human girl has potential…and she instinctively knows how to reach out to others with her mind and heart. The Doctor simply has had more mental training and experience at keeping other beings out of his head. Over his multiple lives he has created many mental barriers and traps, and he was using them now to keep both the _TARDIS_ and the girl out. It was so frustrating…how could they reach him? The idiot was just so _stubborn_ sometimes! She had the power and knowledge to pull him back but he was blocking her from contacting him. The girl was able to briefly reach in his mind to where he was, but did not have the mental power or experience to combat his defenses.

The _TARDIS_ had felt the impact of Becca's head and her body going limp. As soon as the Doctor had realized the girl was in his head, it was as easy for him to get rid of her as swatting a pesky bug. If only she could figure out a way to give the girl some of her knowledge and strength….she had never been able to "speak" to a human's mind before but she was desperate. Sometimes when things were most dire, miracles could happen…

* * *

 _Becca's POV_

I opened my eyes slowly, rubbing the back of my head where it had hit the floor and could feel a goose egg forming. Well, _that_ hadn't gone so well. The glimpses I had seen were horrible and had looked to me like memories of some kind of war zone. I was reminded suddenly of a conversation I'd had years ago with my Grandpa, we had been talking about war in my history course and I'd asked Grandpa if he'd ever seen one. His normally jovial face had become solemn and his eyes had filled with an emotion I couldn't understand then. Briefly he had described war to me as chaos, mental anguish and unbearable truths. The sight of suffering and death had driven all involved to their physical and mental limits. _Some were strong enough to survive_ , he told me, _most died, and some…some eventually went mad._

That memory, along with what I had glimpsed in the Doctor's mind helped me begin to understand some of the emotions I had felt in the Doctor. Glancing up, he was still sitting exactly as he had been before. _Well now what?_ I thought to myself. _I can't leave him like this, not after what I saw…nobody should have to deal with something like that alone._

Suddenly, the presence that had been tingling in the back of my mind intensified, like it was trying to tell me something. Tentatively, and only a little afraid, I opened to that feeling and allowed it more access to my mind. I was rewarded with a rush of gratitude and the feeling of great energy and effort.

 _I…can…help…knowledge…strength…_

I was startled to recognize words formed in my head with intense emotion and energy behind it. What did it mean help? Was it saying I needed strength and knowledge or that whatever it was could provide the strength and knowledge?

 _Both…you can get in…I can defend…we can reach him…help…him_

I sat for a moment puzzling out what the "voice" was trying to say. So I needed strength and knowledge that this other presence could provide. I was able to get into the Doctor's mind, and if this other being could somehow keep him from kicking me out again…together we could reach him! As soon as I finished reasoning this through, a feeling of relief and approval caressed my mind. This caused me to smile. _Ok, so what do I need to do?_ I thought, hoping the presence could hear me.

 _Approval…impression of touching the wall…reaching out with mind…heart…_

Standing, I went to the nearest wall and reached out tentatively to touch it with my hand. Then I relaxed and reached out with my mind like I had to the Doctor, not at all sure what to expect. Suddenly, I felt like I was being filled with a golden radiance and that a foreign presence was joining with me.

 _Now…together…he is lost and alone…but we bring back…you bring him back…_

Dropping my hand from the wall, I went back to the Doctor, once again knelt behind him and taking a deep breath placed both hands on his shoulders. Reaching out to the Doctor with my mind again, I found myself swept along much quicker, buoyed by the golden light that filled my heart and mind. Closing my eyes, I mentally find myself again witnessing the scenes of war and destruction. This time however I see that I am much closer to the Doctor and start walking towards him. I feel when he becomes mentally aware of my presence; feel him try to push me away again, but this time I am being shielded by the brilliant golden light. In my mind's eye, the image of the Doctor turns around slowly and when he sees me….witness the moment of shock and disbelief that crosses his face. I can feel great power running through me, bright and burning. I try to pull back but find myself unable to do so…the other presence was taking control now that we had reached the Doctor…


	4. Inside the Doctor's Head

AN: Hope you enjoyed that last chapter! What will the TARDIS do now that she's finally reached the Doctor with Becca's help? Read on friends and see!

* * *

Chapter 4: Inside the Doctor's Head

The Doctor was lost in his memories of the Great Time War, lost in his guilt and pain. He didn't know how long he had been this way, nor did he care. He deserved this. He deserved to be punished for his part in the Time War; he had killed billions…enemies and friends alike. All the Time Lords were dead because of him! His people, his planet gone…it was all his fault! He was eternally alone, and he couldn't deal with the silence any longer. So he'd retreated, retreated into a hell of his own making and called it justice.

Several times he had felt the TARDIS reaching out to him and pushed her away. Eventually she had quit trying. Now he felt a new presence, trying to reach him. The first time he had simply shielded himself from the outside entity and it had stopped. The second time, she (as it had the feeling of a female) had managed to slip past and view some of his memories…which prompted him to forcefully repelled her and pushed her out of his head. He had no notion of how the hard mental shove had translated into physical energy which had then hit the person like a physical punch. If he thought about it or known the results he would have felt instant remorse…he wasn't trying to hurt anyone, he hated hurting people.

Mentally he stood in the middle of his own personal hell… _smoke- thick and blinding, the Doctor could feel the heat of the fires searing everything around him. He heard the hellish cacophony of the War all around him…screams, bombs exploding, the implosions of buildings collapsing, Daleks calling out "EX-TERM-IN-ATE!"… Gallifrey was burning, his planet was burning! All around him laser and photon fire glittered across the inky black sky. As he scanned the backdrop of flames and flickering shadows, he saw the outlines of a billion spacecraft wheeling and diving above him, most of them in ruins by this point. Discharges of energy weapons backlit the terrible scene of casualties lying dead or dying among the ruins of buildings and crashed spaceships alike, and as he watched in horror, Dalek scouts could be seen gliding unnaturally over the tortured mess and shooting anything that moved._

 _Not far from him was the small child, crying and calling out for help…_ It was always the same.

Again he felt the presence of another person trying to reach him from the outside. This time when he tried to repel them however he was blocked by a strong and ancient shield. In his mind, he felt the presence behind him and turned his awareness…away from the small child crying for help and toward the intruder.

He could not believe what he was seeing! Disbelief and shock rushed through his entire being. Walking slowly toward him through the smoke and chaos appeared to be the shape of a woman shrouded in golden light, much like looking into the heart of his _TARDIS_.

"Doctor…"

She spoke to him?! What? This wasn't possible…What?! This was HIS mindscape… WHAT?! He mentally shook his head.

"Doctor please…hear me. You have to go back now, you shouldn't be here."

What did she mean, he laughed bitterly, but of course he should be here. "This is my just punishment, I deserve to be here." He replied still caught in the punishing cycle of his own making.

The golden lady looked at him for a long moment with such compassion and concern radiating from her being, for a moment it stole his breath away. "Why do you say you belong here," she asked gently, "…nobody deserves to be left in this terrible place…especially not alone."

For a moment the Doctor, swallowing hard, had no reply. "I do," he finally responded, "I have done terrible things, unforgivable things…things most beings can't imagine. I have destroyed my own planet, my own people, millions if not billions of others and I have led friends to their deaths because I could not save them."

The golden lady considered this for a moment, as if listening to someone else as well. "So you did all these things…you planned them...set them in motion...or took great pleasure in the destruction and chaos?"

 _Shock…anger…denial…_ Radiating through his entire consciousness.

"NO! NEVER! I…I never…could never… I regret every single moment of my part in it. If there was another way don't you think I would go back and change it…?" He turned from her and looked around at the War going on around them, tears blurring his vision…the suggestion that he had enjoyed it was unthinkable to him…made him sick to even consider. "…but I can't," he finished regretfully, his fists clenched and body beginning to tremble slightly; "…I can't go back to change my own timeline…no one can without unknown consequences."

"So, you wallow here in misery, pain and self-loathing? When there is so much more you can do with _this_ life?"

The Doctor shook his head. There was nothing good he could do and the universes would be better off without him. Having sunk so deeply in his despair, he truly believed this to be the absolute truth.

"What of all those people and planets you have saved since the War?" The golden lady inquired vehemently, stepping even closer to him. "What of the human girl you saved in London?"

As the apparition grew closer he began to see the features of the woman…saw a tall brunette through the light and as she reached out to grab his arm with her hand, a shock of recognition hit him. What trick was this?! He had seen this girl before. What in all of Gallifrey was she doing here? How was she here? Why was she surrounded by light like the heart of his _TARDIS_?

"Doctor, please…please come back to yourself." The woman coaxed, surrounding him with strong feelings of acceptance, understanding, care and support. Along with those feelings, a warmth unlike anything he'd felt in a long time began to spread throughout his consciousness. The Doctor felt himself relax in a way he hadn't in ages...and he felt himself being drawn back to his physical body…

In the meditation room, the Doctor slowly raised his head from his arms, and felt like he was resurfacing after being underwater for a long time. Felt it as the mental punishment cycle broke and the War dissolved around him like a dream. As he opened his eyes and looked around, he realized he was in the _TARDIS_ …not on Gallifrey... _not_ at the end of the Time War! The stiffness in his body told him he had been sitting here for quite some time. Glancing to his left he saw that the brunette girl really was standing beside him where he sat, one hand reaching out towards him. The moment she touched his arm he felt himself encircled by the golden light from his inner visions, felt the strong and slightly angry presence of the TARDIS. The girl's hazel eyes met his own briefly as she swayed unsteadily, a slight smile on her face. Then her eyes rolled upwards as she began to crumple towards the ground!

Moving stiffly yet quickly, he caught her in his arms and lowered her gently the rest of the way to the floor. Resting her torso against his bent leg, he desperately tried to wrap his brain around what was going on and pulling his sonic screwdriver out of his breast pocket and began scanning her. "No…this can't be right…" he said after reading the results. For good measure he smacked the sonic against his palm and scanned her again.

While he scanned the girl a second time, the _TARDIS_ filled him in on what she had done. How she had gained the girl's assistance, how it had been necessary to meld with the girl to reach him in his mental prison. She hadn't meant to filter so much power through the girl, but he'd been more stubborn and difficult to reach than she had expected. The strain had become too much and when the _TARDIS'_ energy had transferred to him, her body had shut down to protect itself, resulting in the collapse.

"…It's impossible…simply impossible…"

 _An impression of denial and the urge to smack him_

The Doctor looked up at the ceiling in exasperation, ""What in all the 14 stars of the Rexel planetary configuration did you think you were doing?!" He moved the girl as he spoke so that she was laying flat on the floor. Then, shrugging out of his suit jacket, he bundled it up and placed it under her head. He did all this with surprising gentleness considering how angry he felt at the moment. "Your energy could easily have killed this girl, and for what….to get my attention?! Really?! This has _got_ to be the most…"

He was about to go on ranting when words riding on a wave of pure terror and desperation were shoved into his mind… _I was losing you! You shut me out…you even forced her out…the only way to reach you was together…It was my final resort!_

Stunned into silence, the Doctor took a moment to absorb the full meaning of this. Then in a reassuringly typical change of moods his anger vanished and he turned his attention back to the girl. _Becca, if I recall correctly…_ He thought to himself. Despite the insanity of what he had just heard he was impressed with her; few humans could successfully meld even briefly with the conscious energy of a _TARDIS_...he'd only known of one other to do so (but he would NOT think of her right now). Kneeling beside Becca again, he checked her breathing which was a bit shallow and her pulse (which was a bit fast). Of course he had no idea how long the energy sharing had lasted, but one thing was sure…Becca was going to wake with one hell of a headache. Deciding it was probably safe to move her; the Doctor gently scooped Becca up along with his jacket and started towards the door.


	5. Headaches & Home Remedies

Chapter 5: Headaches & Home Remedies

The _TARDIS_ , being extremely helpful, had moved the med bay so that it was immediately adjacent to the meditation room. Absently the Doctor thanked her for the kindness. He was quite concerned about Becca…was she always this pale? Having only seen her twice, he just couldn't remember. Laying her gently down on the med table, he turned and walked toward the cabinets… _Let's see she will definitely need something for the headache she will have when she wakes...maybe a warm poultice to cover her eyes as they will probably be light sensitive for a bit…_

 _-Doctor!_

 _What is it? I'm trying to find something here…_

 _-Doctor! The girl…._

Turning quickly he began cursing and grabbed a warmed blanket from a container nearby. In the short time his back was turned Becca had started trembling violently, so much so that it was no wonder the _TARDIS_ had alerted him. Shaking out the blanket he quickly covered her with it and while trying to tuck it under noticed that the girl's hands were freezing to the touch! Thinking quickly he reached down to the table controls and turned on the warming plates. They would warm the table and provide a steady source of heat. Despite both the warm blanket and the gradually warming table, his brows furrowed as the violent shivering continued. She was still unconscious and he was afraid to leave her. With all that shaking she might hurt herself.

Reaching out and snagging a nearby chair, he pulled it over and sat down astride, his arms resting on the back of the chair. He felt responsible somehow for the condition Becca was in currently, and was determined to stay close until he knew she was ok. As he sat there he became aware of his own reactionary aches and pains. Muffling a small groan as he stood back up, he went to the cabinet again and keeping one eye on the girl, grabbed a blue pill for himself and a packet of his secret remedy for reaction headaches. As he walked back to his self-appointed post, he popped the pill into his mouth and even as he sat back down began to feel it working. Sighing with relief and making himself comfortable, he settled in for what could be a long wait. One thing was certain; he wasn't going to leave her alone until she woke up.

* * *

It had been 47 hours 18 minutes and 37 seconds since Becca's collapse. She had gotten past the violent trembling and her hands had slowly returned to normal temperature but she was still pale and hadn't woken up. The Doctor had remained with her the majority of that time, leaving only once to make a large pot of tea to bring back. Even when he left for that short amount of time, he asked the _TARDIS_ to alert him immediately if anything changed.

Now he was back, cup of tea in hand, pacing the room.

A small sound alerted him that she was finally beginning to come around. Setting down his tea and grabbing an empty pan he walked over beside Becca just as her eyes began to open. She let out a soft moan of protest as the light hit her eyes, raising a hand to shade them. "Easy now…you're safe, just don't move too fast yet", he said soothingly, laying a cautionary hand on her shoulder. He could tell he was too late however, and as her pallor turned green, he'd just enough time to get the pan into the appropriate place before she rolled on her side to be violently ill. He gently rubbed her back as gasping and gagging she battled for control over her stomach.

Glancing at the ceiling he mentally asked the _TARDIS_ to lower the lighting in the room, which she quickly did. Thanking her, he reached back over his shoulder for a cup sitting on the nearby table. As Becca miserably rolled back towards him, he handed her the cup. She looked at it, then at him with confusion. "Use some to wash your mouth out, and then drink the rest. I promise it will help you feel better. It even tastes good, kinda minty," he explained as softly as he could.

He watched as even that small amount of sound made her flinch…poor girl; it was clearly visible to him through the tension in her forehead and in the corner of her eyes that her head was killing her. She could barely meet his eyes and for a moment it eluded him why….then it hit him.

"Don't be embarrassed, it happens to the best of us, especially after the mental strain you put yourself through," he reassured her quietly. "Go on then…wash your mouth out…"

Slowly but obediently, Becca took some of the liquid from the cup and swished it in her mouth before shakily bending back over to spit it into the pan. When he looked meaningfully at her, raising an eyebrow, and then the cup he still held, she cautiously drank the rest of its contents down.

"Now, you lay there quietly and I'll just take this away," he said soothingly as he picked up the pan and took it to be disposed of properly. By the time he had dumped the pan, washed it thoroughly and came back to set it gently beside her again (just in case); her eyes were again closed. Taking out his sonic screwdriver and scanning her, he was relieved to see that all the signs indicated normal sleep. Gently, so he didn't disturb her, he tucked the blanket back around her again, and then quietly exited the room.


	6. Renewed Optimism

Chapter 6: Renewed Optimism

 _Becca's POV_

I'd been having the weirdest dream; it was about the Doctor and something merging with my consciousness so we could save him…a bright burning, golden light….and then…nothing. As I lay in bed I was just barely aware that something was off. Drowsily I tried to figure it out, but I just couldn't seem to focus…why was my bed so hard all of a sudden? Then I became aware of the pounding of my head…THUMP…THUMP…THUMP. It was sharp and percussive and I felt like a whole drum line was parading through my skull.

Groaning softly to myself I opened my eyes slowly and tried to sit up. The sight that met my strangely sore eyes however was definitely not my bedroom! I was in a dimly lit, very clinical looking room- was I in the hospital? _Oh…my head_! Determined to find some pain killer I swung my legs so that I was sitting on the side of the bed- and was forced to pause as my stomach threatened to rebel from the sudden movement. Closing my eyes and swallowing hard a couple time times I waited for it to settle…

 _Careful…_ A feeling of concern brushed my mind like a gentle breeze.

Surprised I opened my eyes tentatively and looked around. As I did my foot bumped into a pan sitting beside the bed. Seeing the pan I thought of my dream…could some of it have been real?

THUMP…THUMP…THUMP…the headache continued to beat at my skull unrelentingly. Placing a hand to my head I stood up slowly- bracing the other hand on the bed for balance.

 _Concern and urgency…_

Still holding my head I unsteadily made my way to the nearest cabinet hoping to find some aspirin, ibuprofen or something…

"You shouldn't be out of bed yet," a concerned voice said from behind me.

Startled, I whirled around, and immediately regretted the motion as my head objected- blinding me momentarily and making the world spin crazily around me. I felt strong hands reach out quickly to steady me so I wouldn't fall.

As my vision cleared and the world stopped spinning, I looked up and saw warm brown eyes filled with concern. Suddenly all the pieces fell back into place- the Doctor, the strange police box….and OH GOD! I blanched as I realized it hadn't been a dream- I really had been violently ill in front of this man! Mortified, I groaned and ducking my head placed my hands over my face in embarrassment. The Doctor, misinterpreting the real reason behind my action, began guiding me carefully back to the bed. I realized belatedly he was talking to me and tuned in to hear…

"…back in bed. What were you doing up and about anyway? I expected you to sleep for at least another hour or two…"

"My head…," I mumbled miserably…"hurts like the morning after …looking for pain killer…"

Chuckling softly he replied, "That bad, eh…well I'll just have to fix you up another dose of my special headache remedy- you know…the minty one."

After he made sure I was seated safely on the bed he spun around practically bounding over to the cabinets behind me, and began rummaging around doing something. In less than a minute he was bounding back, expertly keeping the cup from spilling. When he presented it to me with a flourish and a goofy grin- I raised a single eyebrow at him despite my headache.

"You really are a Tigger aren't you? All that energy is…well a bit obnoxious at the moment."

 _Amusement and the impression of laughter_

The Doctor's face fell and he self-consciously rubbed the back of his head. "Oh…right then…sorry."

Taking the cup from him, I looked at the contents and then back at the Doctor.

"Well, go on…down the hatch," he said placing his hands in his trouser pockets and rocking forward and backward on his feet, still radiating boundless energy. Just watching him made me aware of how beat up I felt. Taking a cautious sip, I found the liquid at the perfect temperature- not too hot or cold. Surprisingly, it really did taste minty and was not at all unpleasant to drink. When I was done the Doctor accepted the cup back from me and took it back to where he had gotten it. Within seconds the severity of my headache was diminished to a more manageable level of pain. Wow! What was in that stuff?

Obviously trying to rein in his energy, the Doctor walked back to me, still displaying a slight bounce to his step. "Now…" He grinned, "May I recommend you lay back down to let that remedy do its work?"

I was about to protest that I was feeling much better and wanted to stay up for a bit, when a wave of tiredness stole over me and I found myself laying down anyway. As my eyes closed and I drifted toward sleep, I thought I heard the Doctor say "Works every time…"

* * *

The Doctor only felt slightly guilty when he had put a bit of sleep draught in the headache remedy he'd given Becca. Now he was glad he had. She really did need to allow more time for her brain to relax and recuperate- two hours just wasn't enough.

 _Thanks for letting me know she was up_ , he thought silently to the _TARDIS._ She may be a handful…

 _Tigger…amusement…_

He chuckled again softly, _Tigger…She compared me to a Tigger…Weeell…maybe he had overdone it a bit with his happy-go-lucky act._ Now that he thought she was asleep, he allowed himself to return to his former thoughts. _How could she have managed to reach him in a mindscape…even with the_ TARDIS' _help?_ His eyes darkened as the memories started to filter through his thoughts again…he felt despair reaching for him…

"Now don't start that again…," a drowsy voice admonished, speaking in a low and slightly slurred tone of voice, "…'cuz I really don't wanna have to pull you out again, though I will if you insist on being an idiot..."

Startled he looked around and seeing nobody else, his eyes fell to the girl who was now shifting to a more comfortable position on her side, eyes watching him but slowly drifting shut again due to the sleep draught's effects.

Oh yes, he was going to have to watch this one- she was perceptive alright and a bit cheeky! Rather than being annoyed though, the Doctor felt a slow grin spreading across his face, the despair being replaced by curiosity and amusement. What was it about this girl that would lead her to answer a cry for help from an unknown source, and then risk her own life to pull him out of his own mindscape? He didn't know, but knew he wanted to find out more. _Maybe there are still some mysteries left, even for me…_ He thought to himself.

* * *

The _TARDIS_ was overjoyed! Things defiantly had not gone according to her plan…she still felt bad about making the girl so sick…but her Thief was back! It was obvious to her that once the girl was sufficiently rested up, she would possibly be invited to join them. The Doctor was already showing signs of curiosity about her and in her long association with him she knew that this could only be a good sign…a sign of renewing optimism.

 _~Finis~_

* * *

 ** _AN: So we reach the end of the story...I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! More adventures with The Doctor, Becca and the TARDIS are swirling around my head...so watch for future stories to come! Please send me any feedback on the story...and if you have any advice or ideas for future stories I'd love to hear them too!_**


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